Monday, February 13, 2012

" Success is 80% showing up "

I've been hiding. 
I've also had a gawd awful attitude of late so haven't really wanted to infect others with my misery! I've been saving that for my nearest and dearest!

Ohh..I have some news - I am no longer looking at 85.something on the scale!!!

Yey right?


I am now the unhappy owner of scales that say 86.7 and at one point about a week ago said 87.3!!!!!!!

I am a failure.
Someone bitch slap me now.

On the positive side I did my first ever fun run yesterday and after I finished I weighed 85.6 - then proceeded to eat everything I possibly could to get back up to my 12WBT start weight of 86.7.I am literally shaking my head as I write this - I know, I so know. 

So, I have a few things on my mind... please excuse the point form, as well as being fat I'm also feeling uninspired to write long copy.... 

1. My Fitness Pal - the iphone application.
I got MFP drunk.
I was logging everything and it was consuming my life. How is that for irony - the device I was using to measure consumption was consuming me. I had to flick it. 

2. Huggies Forum
Havnt been feeling it lately, I love ( most ) of the ladies there and have enjoyed the banter but its feeling a lot like hard work at the moment and it says more about me than them. I've facebooked a few peeps that I truly like and have connected with, who have inspired me and who I rate highly - I'd like them to know me beyond the weight loss persona and I'd like to know them a little better too. I want to get back there and start posting again soon because I know how much it helped me as a reader last time. Pay it forward and all that crap.

3. The Biggest Loser
Hmm hating the totally airbrushed trainers and not really liking the contestants so its kind of been a bit boring. 

4. Pre Season
I so totally think a 4 week pre season sucks ass.
It's way too long and I'm over it before it has started. If I was the kind of chicky to blame others for my bad attitude then I blame pre-season. It gave me too long to a "start date" and that kind of worked against me.

5. Weaned and hello 1200 calories a day
I have weaned my 9 month old ( possibly a correlation to my bad attitude ).
It was time. I was ready and he now has teeth. I always did say if they can say it or bite it, I'm out! I needed my body back. I must say that when I weaned my daughter at 7 months I stacked on the weight AFTER I finished breast feeding so I'm uber aware of it. 
I'm sad because I loved breast feeding - so easy so wonderful but I'm also happy to be getting my body back to hopefully ...get my body back!! I'm a bit scared of the 1200cals per day... I could snort that in a snack. Ohh well. It has to be done.

6. Kick off.
So today I reluctantly started my 12 week program. I ate clean. I shopped. I drank water like it was free. I measured up and I even bought a magazine to do some before semi- nekid undie shots. Noice.

I'm a reluctant starter. But I have started. 

Some dude somewhere, sometime said " Success is 80% showing up " - I think it was that little turd Woody Allen, but I'm giving it a shot. 

I showed up today.

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